Quick Strong First Impression

What’s the best way to make a strong first impression?

There are many things to keep in mind if you want to get off on the right foot when you first meet someone. Successful sales people know how to do this. But contrary to popular opinion, making a positive first impression is not an intuitive skill. Those who do it well have become good through trial and error. Having said this, there definitely are “must dos” for a good first encounter.

People form first impressions within a few seconds of meeting you. If you’re late to a meeting, you know how your first impression went! The reason first impressions are so important is because people rely on them for a long time. Of course as people gain exposure to you, their impressions can change, but this is a gradual process and takes place over a long period of time. And in some situations people may not give you the chance to prove who you “really are” after your first impression has been made. This is why making a good first impression is important.

Even if you can’t master the art, being aware of the need to make a positive first impression will at least reduce the odds that you create a bad first impression. Bad first impressions last much longer than good ones, and are very difficult to change.

Another valuable thing to remember is that the principals operating when you make the first impression will be operating for a long time afterwards. You need to use them as you grow and develop your relationships. On the rare occasion that we make a bad first impression, the same rules will help us correct it and get back on the right foot with that target person. It doesn’t matter if you’re concerned about the initial meeting you have with someone, or the tenth time your meeting them – you need to keep basic first impression rules in your mind whenever you are networking.

The easy things to remember: be yourself, be confident, and be relaxed. This sounds pretty easy, doesn’t it? None of these behaviors come naturally when you know you may be meeting your next boss, a future client, or perhaps even your future wife or husband.

What we should remember is that our feelings follow our behaviors, not the other way around. Don’t believe me? Try dancing the next time you’re feeling sad. Try walking around the office criticizing your colleagues after your boss has just given you a compliment. Both dancing and criticizing others will change your mood. If you want to feel good, take an optimist’s view of the world. If you want to feel bad, take a pessimist viewpoint. If you want to appear confident, act as if you are! If you want to appear relaxed and in control, act that way; soon you will be.

Think about what is appropriate in the situation you are in. What clothes are appropriate, what conversational topics are being discussed, what are people eating or drinking? All situations have a range of acceptable behaviors. You want to fall within this range. If you’re not sure, err on the side of being more like others, or just be very conservative. Sure, there are some people who are known for their eccentricities, but these people have almost always taken great pains to cultivate such habits as a way of standing out from the crowd. Being a “free-spirited eccentric” is a personal marketing strategy that few people can use successfully.

What about individuality? Forget it! When your relationship with the target person grows, you’ll have plenty of time to express yourself and your uniqueness. When making a first impression, you don’t want to do anything that will send the wrong signals. Everyone has their own pet peeves, and a first meeting is not a good time to explore what they are. You want people to feel comfortable with you, not as if they’ve just met an artist or a musician.

And how do you make people feel comfortable with you? Give them as much attention as you can muster. Listen to them, become interested in what they have to say. Ask questions about overlapping areas of interest as you move from one subject to the other. Make people feel special by really listening to them, not just hearing them out so that you can make your own next statement. This is important: don’t just wait until it’s your turn to speak – inquire and express an interest in what your target is saying.

Be positive and optimistic. People like to be around others who see good things in the world. This isn’t always easy to do, but we all look up to the person who looks at the same thing as us, but sees something wonderful. Experts say that the only time pessimism is valuable is when a very serious decision is about to be made. Pessimism rarely has a place in our lives!

Learn to make small talk. Small talk isn’t a set of conversation topics. People good at small talk are actually good at helping the conversation bounce lightly from one subject to another as people discover common areas of interest. Once that first contact has been made, you later come back to these commonalities and truly develop a relationship. Before moving forward, we need to discover what we have in common with others – this is the purpose of making small talk.

The eight keys to making a strong first impression are:

1 - Be on time

2 - Be yourself, but be relaxed (if this is difficult, at least act relaxed)

3 - Be confident in yourself, or act this way

4 - Behave appropriately given the situation

5 - Make people feel comfortable spending time with you

6 - Give others as much of your attention as you can

7 - Take an optimistic view of the world

8 - Make small-talk: help the conversation move from one subject to the next